Boundaries in Relationships – Emotional Hooks
Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Relationships
(Adapted by C. Leech from “Tools for Coping with Life’s Stressors” from the Coping.org website)
People with low self-esteem have their major difficulties in relationships with
others. This is because they are unable to establish healthy boundaries or limits
with people. The reason, for this inability, is that with low self-esteem comes a
variety of irrational thoughts, emotions and actions that leads people to lose
themselves in relationships with others. This absorption of self into others leads
to a loss of personal internal control. People with low self-esteem have a
weakened “internal locus of control” and become dependent on a “strong
external locus of control”. They become victims to being controlled by how
others think, feel about and act towards them. People with low self-esteem are
dependent on others’ approval and recognition and are therefore fearful of
rejection by and conflict with others.
How about your relationships?
· How well are your physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual boundaries
established and maintained in your relationships?
· How successful are you in protecting and maintaining your boundaries
when your relationship partners are highly intrusive or persistent?
· Do you use unhealthy, compulsive or addictive behaviors as a barrier or
unhealthy boundary to protect yourself from intimacy with your relationship
· How well do you stay unhooked and detached when your relationship
partners are working you over to lower your boundaries in the
· When you consider trying to maintain healthy boundaries in your
relationships without the use of body weight, food, or some other
compulsive behaviors to protect and medicate you in the process, are you
· Would you prefer to stay stuck on learning how to establish healthy
boundaries in your relationships?
If the answer is that you need to strengthen your boundaries with your
relationship partners to enrich or regain the health of your relationships then visit with Dr. Jeff Peterson for a worksheet on how to establish healthy boundaries in relationships.